How To Support Someone That's Grieving

Here are 6 ways to show your support for your loved ones in their toughest moment.

Because let's face it, we're not always as emotionally intelligent as we'd like to be, especially when it comes to someone grieving.

Table of Contents:

1. Spend Quality Time Together

2. Allow Them to Talk Openly About Their Loved One

3. Give a Thoughtful Gift

4. Send a Simple Message

5. Offer Practical Help

6. Respect Their Boundaries

A person sitting alone by their bed, visibly upset and overwhelmed, conveying deep sorrow in a dimly lit room.

While the festivities from the holidays may have ended, grief doesn't adhere to a calendar, and the absence of a loved one is often felt long after the decorations come down. If you've ever experienced the death of someone dear to you, or have stood by a friend or family member navigating that journey, you know that grief has no expiration date. Hopefully, you also know that your support can make a difference. Here are a few thoughtful ways to show you care and help ease their burden during this challenging time.

Disclaimer: Like with anything, one size does not fit all, and the best way to navigate your support is to understand your relationship with your grieving loved one. Don't underestimate the power of simply asking, "How can I support you during this time?" 

1. Spend Quality Time Together

Losing my mother in June of 2024 was THE hardest thing I had to endure. As someone who's usually mentally sharp, I felt like my mind was in a consistent fog. On random days I honestly STILL deal with brain fog. I may not recall everyone who expressed their condolences on social media or attended the funeral, but I will always remember those who prioritized spending quality time with me.

One of the simplest and most meaningful ways to support a grieving loved one is by spending time with them.

Grief can often feel isolating, especially during the holidays when everyone else seems to be celebrating. Your presence can offer comfort, whether it's sharing a quiet meal, watching a favorite movie or series, or just sitting together. Simply being there without the need for words can speak volumes as well. It's important to let them know you're there for them, no matter how they feel.

Tip: DO NOT wait for them to give you the perfect date/time. When you're grieving your thought process is not the same as someone that is not. Tell them when you plan to visit or suggest a date and time.

2. Allow Them to Talk Openly About Their Loved One

Grief can be an incredibly personal experience, and many people feel hesitant to bring up their lost loved one for fear of upsetting or inconveniencing others. However, allowing your loved one the space to talk openly about their feelings and memories can be healing. Encourage them to share stories, express their emotions, or simply reminisce about the person they've lost. Listening without judgment, offering empathy, and acknowledging their pain will show them they are not alone in their sorrow.

I always appreciate conversations where people not only ask me how I'm doing but say my mother's name and recall a memory that they have of her. Their love for her keeps me going.

It's important to remember that everyone's grieving process is different, and there may be times when your loved one does not want to talk about it. Respect their need for space, but let them know you're always ready to listen whenever they are ready.

Try This: In a conversation, bring up a happy memory that you all shared of their loved one and follow up by asking them how's their healing journey going or simply how they are doing. You never know how impactful that may be.

"Grief Changes Shape, but it never ends." – Keanu Reeves

3. Give a Thoughtful Gift

While gift-giving may feel complicated to some, a thoughtful and meaningful gift can provide a sense of comfort. Consider something that acknowledges their loss and provides a sense of remembrance, like a framed photo(or album), a piece of jewelry with their loved one's name, or a memory box where they can keep cherished mementos. Even a handwritten letter or card expressing your love and support can be a powerful gesture.

An old friend of mine paid to have my mother's necklace which I loved so much, cleaned for me. I'm usually the thoughtful gift giver in my circle so any thoughtfulness like that stands out to me.

Sometimes, a small, thoughtful gift that shows you're thinking of them can provide a moment of comfort and help them feel seen and loved. It’s not about the cost but the sentiment behind it that can be deeply meaningful.

Try this: Try creating a photo memory for someone to cherish on Walgreens website. (They almost always have coupon codes available as well)

4. Send a Simple Message

If you're unable to spend time with your loved one in person or if they need space, a simple message can go a long way in letting them know you're thinking of them. Whether it's a text, a phone call, or a handwritten note, reaching out with a few heartfelt words can remind them that they are loved and not forgotten. You don’t need to say much—just letting them know that you’re holding them in your thoughts can be a big support for someone grieving.

Tip: You don't have to be a poet to send a message. Just speak from the heart. If you lost someone close, what words helped you during that time? If you haven't, what do you think you'd want to hear?

5. Offer Practical Help

Grief can be exhausting, from the moment you learn of the passing, to after the funeral and beyond. Offering practical help, whether it’s assisting with phone calls, funeral arrangements, running errands, cleaning, or preparing a meal, can be a kind and thoughtful way to show your support. Small gestures like these can take some of the pressure off your grieving loved one and allow them to focus on their emotions and healing.

Til' this day I'm not sure if my cousin knows how much she helped me just by opening her home to everyone that wanted to visit us the moment my mother crossed over. I couldn't fathom entertaining a house full of people(Which seems to be a tradition) so her jumping into action to entertain while she navigated her own emotions meant everything to me.

I was grateful for my family joining us as well in planning the funeral, as it was difficult for me to focus, but I knew it was necessary.

Try this: Especially if you aren't good with emotions- Think of 1 thing you wouldn't mind doing for someone who is grieving and offer it when someone you know is faced with loss. Even better if it's something you can do with little to no effort (cook, clean, make calls, organize, etc)

6. Respect Their Boundaries

Everyone copes with loss in their way, and your loved one may have different needs and boundaries. Some may prefer to be surrounded by family and friends, while others may need solitude to process their grief. Be mindful of these needs and respect their wishes. Offer support without pressuring them to participate in activities or celebrations if they’re not ready. Respecting their space and being flexible with your support can provide much-needed comfort.

In Conclusion

Grief is a deep and personal journey, one that words often fail to fully capture. Yet, during the darkest seasons, being part of someone’s support village can mean everything. Don’t wait for the perfect words or the right time — DO SOMETHING. Let your loved one feel your presence, your care, and your unwavering support.

If you've ever experienced loss, which of these do you wish you had more of? What would you add to the list?